Time for Introspection

One of the main reasons for failure in achieving goals is that we are looking in the wrong places for the solution to our problems and challenges. Generally speaking, the answer does not lie where a large majority of people search for it. We may have particular problem but the problem itself should not be the reason for choosing a wrong solution. Life in a rut suits most people as they do not want to face or come to grips with the truth about their problems, their lives and themselves. We have to face the fact that no matter what has happened to us in the past or what we are facing now is of our own making. It is up to reach one of us to take responsibility for own lives and happiness. It is for us to do something constructive and positive for ourselves. People dwell too much on the negative in there lives. They also conduct extensive postmortems as to what went wrong instead of trying to see the positive side of things in the present. It is for us to touch those positive events and make them flower. It is our thoughts which determine our feelings and these in turn direct our actions. For example, if you are feeling depressed and thinking, ‘‘I will never be successful and happy’’ this thought will produce feelings of despair and hopelessness. Consequently, you unconsciously go on doing something or the other which will reinforce this belief and thought. Thus, you do not try to do anything which will improve your relationship with others or your performance at work. This vicious circle prevents you from doing anything constructive. It also confirms you belief that it is not worth trying to change or improve things as nothing is going to happen. This cycle continues and you are neither happy nor do the problems that you are facing get solved. Thus, destructive thoughts keep on having a hold on you. Unhappiness and difficulties become a part and parcel of life and the individual feels that there is no escape for him or her.

  ‘‘Accept challenges which come your way’’.

The solution is to identify your depressing and destructive thoughts. Take action to transform them into positive energy before they dominate and depress you. Consciously replace negative attitude with a more realistic and positive outlook. In this manner you can take control of your thoughts and emotions which will enable you to live your life to the fullest. Spot the thoughts that are preventing you from realizing your dreams. By ridding yourself of unhappy thoughts you will be able to manage your life in a much better way. Do not believe anybody if they tell you that ignoring a problem or a situation is the easy way out. In the long run you will end up being trapped in situations which are both painful and stressful. Always be on the look out for crossing new frontiers. This is the only way in which you will know your strengths and capabilities. Accept challenges which come your way.

Do Not Ignore Difficulties- face Them:-

Sometimes a difficult situation worsens with time. It calls for resolution one way or the other. Sometimes a long wait can mellow a problem but it is rarely the case that nothing needs to be done. Waiting is one way of escaping as it means not confronting your fears and not making a change. It means avoiding all challenges and difficulties and continuing with the status quo. Each challenge in our life is capable of giving us strength, wisdom and opportunity for further progress. We can learn from life each moment and work for our rewards. Do not wait too long in the hope that you will not have to make a 8change. Life is in a state of flux. Whether you like it or not, you will confront challenge after challenge in life. Only by learning to meet challenges do you get a chance to learn and grow. Do not talk yourself into avoiding situations and putting up with any depressing or humiliating ones. This is dangerous thinking especially when it is related to something that is making you very unhappy. Face situations, however harmful they may be, and find solutions, however difficult. Never take anything lying down in your life. Events and situations which make you unhappy and doubt your own competence and strength should be put aside. Do not give up on yourself and your dreams because you feel helpless and unable to control your life. Live the way you want to, the way you rely should. Believe in yourself. Choose your strategies for dealing with your problems. put in the required efforts in your fight for a cause or in your struggle for achievement. Never compromise on your pride, your self-esteem, struggle for a cause or a promotion that you feel is your happiness. There is always something that you can do about your happiness. Putting up with a bad situation even for a little while can turn into a lifetime of shattered dreams and hopes.

‘You have to take  care of your own unhappiness and stress in your life. Nobody else is going to solve your problems.’’

What is causing you unhappiness? Most of us tend to blame something or somebody for our unhappiness whether it is our health, weight, shyness, lack of money or dissatisfaction with the current assignment. This keeps us from locating and realizing the real reason for our unhappiness. Excuses or self-justifications are merely symptoms and not the true causes of happiness. Let us, for example,examine the real reasons for ill health or obesity. Is is because you do not eat healthy food or eat a lot of junk food? Or is it because you do not spend any time keeping yourself fit by exercising? A close examination and self-introspection will indicate the true reasons. Then it will be up to you to plan remedial action directed at taking care of yourself. It is one thing to identify the reason and symptom for lapse. It is entirely a different matter to take remedial action. One often stated reason for this kind of situation is that a heavy work schedule does not give you time for eating a balanced diet and exercising regularly. The solution for this kind of situation is to manange your time well. Plan your lifestyle and work in such a way that you can eat more healthy food and exercise regularly. You have to take care of your own unhappiness and stress in your life. Nobody else is going to solve your problems. Learn from your past. Do not ignore the way you are and analyze why you continue repeating the same mistakes. Do not be trapped in patterns of happiness and unstable behavior. Do not be enslaved by past behavior patterns. Accept and understand past mistakes so that you can learn form them in the present. This will help you avoid past emotional mistakes,pain,professional blunders and other causes of unhappiness. This is the only way by which  you can uncover the reasons for past mistakes and learn lessons for the future as well. Never hesitate in examining the reasons as to why you keep on making the same mistakes again and again. Is it because of negative people and bad experiences which have plagued you for a long time? Is is because you have been taught to feel negative about yourself  and see the world through pessimistic glasses? If you do your best, whatever happens will be for the best. Our core beliefs about our happiness and ourselves have been formed under the influence of our parents, teachers, siblings, peers and friends during the various stages of our life, from infancy of adulthood. We have learnt many habits and developed all sorts of expectations. We have become a composite personality under their influence and on  account of our experiences. It is for this reason that we must review our past. We cannot change it or run away. Challenge yourself if you are thinking and feeling depressed. This is the only way you can change your approach to life, your convictions, your beliefs and your behavior.